Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Should I be worried?

Before I get started please let me say one thing: I generally try to not piss people off.  Granted, there are some times when I try to, and other times when it's necessary, but they're rather few and far between.  Life is just easier when you don't go around pissing people off.  With that said, let's get to it.

Should I be worried about voodoo zombies?  Or, more appropriately, a voodoo zombie?  I keep racking my brain trying to figure out a scenario in which voodoo zombies are a big problem in my life, and I just can't think of one.  The only way in which I think I should be afraid is if I piss off some voodoo priest and he starts sending voodoo zombies after me.  But since I don't generally go around pissing people off, or hanging out with voodoo priests, I just don't see that as being very realistic.

Some may ask, "Hey, what about an army of voodoo zombies going around eating everyone's brains and causing havoc?"  Again, I don't see this as realistic.  Admittedly, I've never met a voodoo priest before but I'd assume they're pretty laid back people who wouldn't want to just kill everyone.  And voodoo zombies aren't the kind that just go around eating everyone; they're made for one specific purpose, and once that's finished so are they.  So as far as I can tell this probably won't happen unless some random voodoo priest wants revenge on the world and creates zombies whose goal is to kill everyone they see.

But there are reasons why I think I should be worried about voodoo zombies.  If there were one after me it would be hard to stop.  It's my understanding that a voodoo zombie won't be stopped by anything except accomplishment of its goal or complete and utter incapacitation (beyond just destroying the brain, to the point of removing all limbs from the torso or something similar).  Unfortunately, though, by the time one figures out that it is a voodoo zombie it may already be too late to take the necessary action to completely incapacitate it.  So if I was the target of a voodoo zombie I would probably have a lot of sleepless nights.

Not that the destruction of one voodoo zombie would be the end of the story, far from it.  If I angered a voodoo priest to the point where he thought it necessary to send the living dead after me, I certainly doubt it would stop at one.  So maybe I can take out the first one.  But then what about the second, third, fourth, et cetera.  I would either have to find a way to kill or placate the priest (which I imagine would be difficult due to their being pretty laid back and therefore hard to anger) or spend the rest of my life running from, and trying to kill, voodoo zombies.

As long as I don't go around pissing people off I should be okay.  Also, the more I think about this, the more I think it would make a really cool video game.

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