ZEP #2

ZEP #2: The government

This is really the plan that’s someone else’s plan.  Obviously the oncoming zombie apocalypse would be considered an emergency and as such there would be a response from an array of different government agencies.  This could take lots of different forms but the one that seems to be the most common in zombie media is the camp or safe zone set up by the government and the location broadcast on TV and radio.  There is obviously some big upside potential with this plan:  army dudes with guns and lots of ammo, tanks, helicopters, food, water, et cetera.  The biggest downside of this is what most commonly happens in zombie movies:  lots of promise but the safe zone ends up not being there or overrun with zombies.  This is a great plan if it works out and if it doesn’t then, well, you’ve put yourself into an area infested with zombies to the point that the US Army couldn’t keep it safe.

Short term

I don’t really think that there is a short term option for this plan.  I consider short term to be like in Night of the Living dead, i.e. one night or maybe two nights.  And if there’s anything we’ve learned from the DMV (or hurricane Katrina) it’s that the government doesn’t do anything quickly.  So if the zombie invasion takes only a night or two then I don’t think there’s much chance that there would be anything set up or official.  So if it is your plan to wait for your Uncle Sam to save you then I’d suggest you prepare to hunker down for a couple days (see ZEP #1).

Feasibility:  You’ll lose a night of sleep holding your rifle but some people do that for fun.

Difficulty:  You’re sitting at home right now, aren’t you?

Extra Supplies

·         AM/FM Radio or television

·         You may want a power screwdriver and screws to board of some windows

Bottom line:  It’s going to be a tense couple days listening to the radio.

Medium term

You’ve heard the news that they’ve set up a shelter, now all you have to do is get there.  You’ll want reliable transportation (hopefully in the garage) and you’d probably want to weld some metal over the windows to make sure they can’t get in.  Gather up all your guns, ammo, knives and supplies and hit the road.  The most likely problem you’ll face is that the roads are clogged up with broken and abandoned vehicles so you may want a vehicle with 4-wheel drive or a push bar on the front. Once you get there you had better hope that there’s someone there to meet you, but not too many people.  It’s very possible that if there are plenty of survivors like you that there won’t be enough room in the safe zone for everyone.  Obviously that would be a pretty big problem and you may be worse off with people than with zombies.  However, if you get there and everything works out fine then you’ll be sitting pretty.

Feasibility:  Well, you’ll probably have to kill a dozen zombies or so and ram some cars off the road, what could go wrong?

Difficulty:  It will be tough; stick together and stick to the plan.

Extra Supplies:

·         Welder

·         Extra metal

·         A good plan

Bottom line:  Yeah, it’s dangerous.  Yeah, it’s a big risk.  But the dead are roaming the earth, are there really any safe or sure things?

Long term

You’ve made it.  You’re sitting pretty behind barbed wire and more .50 cals than you can count.  Granted, it’s not the Bahamas and you get rationed water instead of sipping on 7 & 7s, but it beats being out there, right?  Well there are a few problems with this camp.  First of all you’re the only game in town which means sooner or later they’re going to figure out that you’re there.  Once they do the army will start shooting which will undoubtedly alert more of them that you’re there and you can see how this ends:  either they kill every zombie in your geographical area or they run out of ammo and you’re all defenseless.  Now, there’s always a chance that the government has a bigger plan here, like eventually evacuating everyone to a more secure facility. Or if you live close enough to an underground missile silo they might set up a base there that would be very secure and have years worth of supplies.  The second problem is that in a fenced in camp there would be little room to grow any food and the fences would also keep out any animals that you may want to eat.  This would make it very hard to sustain any kind of life in the camp, especially so in a missile silo.  So the real problem here, even if they camps do exist, would be that in the long run you would either be taken down from within or without unless the government has a viable, long term plan for you (good luck with that).

Feasibility:  You can go for a while, but not forever.

Difficulty:  It’s not hard at all until you run out of food and water or the place gets overrun with zombies.

Extra Supplies

·         Farming supplies and tools would be great, as would some space in which to use them

Bottom line:  You’re outnumbered in a battle of attrition, never a good prospect.